I regret…

Looking at the sunset from a distance, I regret
The words un-uttered, the sentences un-phrased
For they shall never see cosmic light
The thoughts unwritten, the feelings concealed
For they shall never be in anyone’s sight
The people unknown, nameless faces
For they shall never be a piece of my life
The battles un-fought; tears un-wept
For they shall not realize of what I strive
Compunctions remain, nostalgia clouds me from within
As years slip into moments and memories are etched
While time passes from grief to grief
Searching in vain for spaces untraveled
For they never shall know what it is that I seek
But the biggest contrition perhaps was of not being “me”
Not knowing that there wasn’t any other way to be
Shedding the garb of pretense and unmasking the real self
Was not a resolution but a sudden cognizance
There was healing in self-reproach
Glory in condemnation of the soul
Coupled with the uneasiness of proxy subjectivity
The voices within me shrieked and repelled
And consciousness expanded before it burst into its rudimentary tinges
Setting free the very texture of my being
As I smiled at the regrets of the past
And my eyes waded into yet un-lived
Instants of futurity!

SANJHEE GIANCHANDANI
M.A ENGLISH (Final Year)

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